2025年 2月28日，美国白宫椭圆办公室，三位大统领当着美国媒体记者的面，全程直播了他们争吵的全过程，这算是一起精彩外交事故+直播事故了。这里记录了最后10分钟的全文，作为英文阅读材料使用。
Vance: “For four years, the United States of America, we had a president (Joe Biden) who stood up at press conferences and talked tough about Vladimir Putin, and then Putin invaded Ukraine and destroyed a significant chunk of the country. The path to peace and the path to prosperity is, maybe, engaging in diplomacy. We tried the pathway of Joe Biden, of thumping our chest and pretending that the president of the United States’ words mattered more than the president of the United States’ actions. What makes America a good country is America engaging in diplomacy. That’s what President Trump is doing.”
万斯：过去四年间，拜登总统总是对普京展开言语攻击，造成的结果就是普京入侵乌克兰并占领大片领土。拜登一边拍胸脯吹牛、一边又拿不出实际行动的做法最终证明一无是处。与之相反，特朗普总统正在为外交不懈努力，而通往和平与繁荣的道路正是外交途径，美国也正是由于外交上的成果而称为一个伟大国家。（在拍主子马屁这件事上，我真佩服我自己）
卢比奥：（你们把我台词都说完了，那我就不吭声了呗。）
Zelenskyy: “Can I ask you?”
小泽：（别TM装B了，让我用你的矛戳你的盾）我能问一个问题吗？
Vance: “Sure. Yeah.”
万斯：问吧，随便问。
Zelenskyy: “OK. So he (Putin) occupied it, our parts, big parts of Ukraine, parts of east and Crimea. So he occupied it in 2014. So during a lot of years — I’m not speaking about just Biden, but those times was Obama, President (Barack) Obama, then President Trump, then President Biden, now President Trump, and God bless, now, President Trump will stop him — but during 2014, nobody stopped him. He just occupied and took. He killed people. You know what the contact line —"
小泽：普京今天占领的是乌东，但是时间退回到2014年，他还占领了我们的克里米亚。从那时起这十几年来，你们的总统们，从奥巴马到拜登，有哪一个出面阻止了？让普京光明正大的占领我们的土地……
Trump: “2015?”
川普：2015年?
Zelenskyy: “2014.”
小泽：是2014年.
Trump: “Oh, 2014? I was not here.”
川普：（还好还好，与我无关）2014年，我还没来白宫上班
Vance: “That’s exactly right.”
万斯：（捧哏）可不是吗。
Zelenskyy: “Yes, but during 2014 ‘til 2022, the situation was the same, that people have been dying on the contact line. Nobody stopped him. You know that we had conversations with him, a lot of conversations, my bilateral conversation. And we signed with him, me and you, president, in 2019, I signed with him the deal. I signed with him, (French President Emmanuel) Macron and (former German Chancellor Angela) Merkel. We signed a ceasefire. Ceasefire! All of them told me that he will never go. We signed him a gas contract. But after that, he broke the ceasefire, he killed our people, and he didn’t exchange prisoners. We signed the exchange of prisoners! But he didn’t do it. What kind of diplomacy, JD, you are speaking about? What do you mean?”
小泽：从 2014年 到 2022年 这8年间，我们的处境没有任何改变，战区的人民不断的伤亡，你们没有一个人出面阻止普京。我们一直同普京不停开展双边对话，在2019年也当着你们总统的面（指在法国巴黎举行的“诺曼底模式”四国峰会），和他、马克龙、默克尔一同签了停火协定。这可是停火协定！你们一个个都向我保证，普京不会再来进犯了。于是我签了供气协议。但那之后，普京毁约了，他继续屠杀我们的人民。我们明明签署了交换被关押人员协议，他也不履行承诺。JD，这就是你所谓的外交努力？这是哪门子外交策略？
Vance: “I’m talking about the kind of diplomacy that’s going to end the destruction of your country. Mr. President, with respect, I think it’s disrespectful for you to come into the Oval Office to try to litigate this in front of the American media. Right now, you guys are going around and forcing conscripts to the front lines because you have manpower problems. You should be thanking the president for trying to bring an end to this conflict.”
万斯：（开始咬我了？也不想想今天你来干嘛来了）我所说的外交，是帮助你们国家从战争中解脱出来的外交。总统先生，你今天在我们的地盘，当着我们媒体的面告我们的状，并不是很尊重我们。眼下，你们军队遭遇了兵源不足问题，你应该感谢我们总统正在努力帮你们终止这场战争。（再不替你们努力，你们就要眼睁睁的输掉这场战争。我们这是扶大厦之将倾、挽狂澜于既倒。不是我们自己国家的事情，我们这么跑前跑后的，这是什么精神？这是国际主义的精神。如此付出难道还换不回一句谢谢？）
Zelenskyy: “Have you ever been to Ukraine that you say what problems we have?”
小泽：（你们都是光说不练，就这还想让我说谢谢？）你去过乌克兰吗？你亲眼看到你所谓的问题了吗？
Vance: “I have been to –”
万斯：我去……
Zelenskyy: “ - Have you come once?”
小泽：哪怕去过一次也行，就一次。
Vance: “I’ve actually watched and seen the stories, and I know that what happens is you bring people, you bring them on a propaganda tour, Mr. President. Do you disagree that you’ve had problems, bringing people into your military?”
万斯：我看过一些报道，说你一直在为征兵做宣传（这里小泽嘀咕了句Сука），结果你其实发现招不来人，你同意吗？
Zelenskyy: “We have problems –”
小泽：有……
Vance: “And do you think that is respectful to come to the Oval Office of the United States of America and attack the administration that is trying to prevent the destruction of your country?”
万斯：（刚刚实在气不过，需要再发泄一次）而且今天你来到我们地盘上，肆意攻击国家领导人，如此不念皇恩，并恩将仇报，你礼貌吗？
Zelenskyy: “A lot of questions. Let’s start from the beginning.”
小泽：（不行，要被绕进去了，先跳出来）问题太多，让我们从头开始。
Vance: “Sure.”
万斯：（来就来，谁怕谁）来吧。
( ☝ 谁说我没有西装 )
Zelenskyy: “First of all, during the war, everybody has problems, even you. But you have nice ocean and don’t feel now. But you will feel it in the future. God bless –”
小泽：首先，对于战争的起因，没有一个人是无辜的，哪怕是远隔重洋的你们国家。但是上天眷顾你们，让你们背靠两大洋，从而高枕无忧，无法体会我们的水深火热。但是你们将来会体会到的……
Trump: “You don’t know that. You don’t know that.”
川普：（饭可以乱吃，话可不能乱说，果断下场吵架）话可不是这么说的。
Zelenskyy: “…god bless, you are not in a war.”
小泽：你们没有战争，快感谢上帝吧。
Trump: “Don’t tell us what we’re going to feel. We’re trying to solve a problem. Don’t tell us what we’re going to feel –”
川普：（小泽你要不要听听你在说些什么）轮不到你来教训我们。我不要你觉得，我只要我觉得。我们在帮你解决问题，你反倒开始咒我们了。
Zelenskyy: “I’m not telling you. I am answering on these questions.”
小泽：（糟了）我没有在咒你们，我只是在回答JD的问题。
Trump: “…because you’re in no position to dictate that.”
川普：我们的感受轮不到你们来掌握。
Vance: “That’s exactly what you’re doing.”
万斯：（干就干了，别不承认）你确实咒我们了。
Trump (angry): “You are in no position to dictate what we’re going to feel! We’re going to feel very good.”
川普（生气了）：我们的感受轮不到你们来掌握。我们必将一直感觉良好下去。
Zelenskyy: “You will feel influenced.”
小泽：（别自我陶醉了）你们会被拖下水的。
Trump: “We are going to feel very good and very strong.”
川普：我们终将很好很强大。
Zelenskyy: “I am telling you. You will feel influenced.”
小泽：（别自我陶醉了×2）我告诉你们，你们会被拖下水的。
Trump: “You’re, right now, not in a very good position. You’ve allowed yourself to be in a very bad position –”
川普：形势对于你相当不利，而且是你自己一手造成的这一局面。
Zelenskyy: “From the very beginning of the war —”
小泽：（我有什么办法，还不是你们怂恿的）从战争一开始……（被川普打断）
Trump: “You’re not in a good position. You don’t have the cards right now. With us, you start having cards.”
川普：形势对于你相当不利，你已经无牌可打了。你只有听我们话，才能继续有牌可打。（没有我们支援，你们就上菜单了，这道理还不懂吗。能在牌桌上就知足吧，别嘚瑟了）
Zelenskyy: “I’m not playing cards. I’m very serious, Mr. President. I’m very serious.”
小泽：（明明一直在说话，怎么扯到打牌了）我没在跟你打牌，我是认真在跟你讨论问题。总统先生，我很认真的。
Trump (loudly): “You’re playing cards. You’re gambling with the lives of millions of people. You’re gambling with World War III!”
川普（加大嗓门）：你就是在打牌，你在拿上百万人的生命做赌注，你在发动第三次世界大战！（本来二战都不想打，三战更不想参加，躲在两大洋中间多舒服）
Zelenskyy: “What are you speaking about?”
小泽：（感觉到了背叛的意味）你在说些什么？
Trump: “You’re gambling with World War III! And what you’re doing is very disrespectful to the country, this country that’s backed you far more than a lot of people said they should have.”
川普：你在发动第三次世界大战！而且你非常不尊重我们国家。我们顶住压力，支持了你们那么久，你不但不感恩，反倒如此不敬。
Zelenskyy: “I am very in respect with your country!”
小泽：（委屈死了）我没有不敬，而且十分尊敬贵国。
Vance: “Have you said thank you once?”
万斯：（刚才问我去没去过乌克兰，反击的时候到了）那你说过谢谢吗，哪怕说过一次也行，就一次。
Zelenskyy: “A lot of times! Even today.”
小泽：很多次了，今天都谢了好多次。
Vance: “No, in this entire meeting, you said thank you? You went to Pennsylvania and campaigned for the opposition in October.”
万斯：不不，在今天的会议里，你谢过一次吗？另外，你去年10月还去了宾夕法尼亚州为老登竞选站台。（来吧，翻旧账的感觉真好）
( ☝ 铁证如山 )
Zelenskyy: “No. What are you speaking about?”
小泽：你在说些什么？
Vance: “Offer some words of appreciation for the United States of America and the president who’s trying to save your country.”
万斯：请向美国和这位试图拯救你们国家的总统致谢吧。
Zelenskyy: “Please. You think that if you will speak very loudly about the war, you can –”
小泽：如果你觉得你能高声发表对战争的看法……（被川普打断）
Trump: “He’s not speaking loudly. He’s not speaking loudly. Your country is in big trouble.”
川普：他可没有大声，他可没有大声。是你们有麻烦了。
Zelenskyy: “Can I answer?”
小泽：能让我说两句吗？
Trump: “No, no. You’ve done a lot of talking. Your country is in big trouble.”
川普：不行，你说的够多了。是你们有麻烦了。
Zelenskyy: “I know. I know.”
小泽：行吧。
Trump: “You’re not winning. You’re not winning this. You have a damn good chance of coming out OK because of us.”
川普：你们赢不了的，你们赢不了的。你们只因有我们，才能活到现在。
Zelenskyy: “Mr. President, we are staying in our country, staying strong. From the very beginning of the war, we’ve been alone. And we are thankful. I said thanks in this cabinet.”
小泽：总统先生，我们一直在坚守我们的国家，从战争第一天起，我们就是单打独斗的，所以我们表示感激，今天在这个会议室里，我表示感激。
Trump (loudly talking over Zelenskyy): “You haven’t been alone. We gave you through a stupid president 350 billion dollars. We gave you military equipment. You may have been brave but they used our military equipment.”
川普（声音盖过小泽）：你们根本不是单打独斗，我的白痴前任给了你们3500亿美元，还给你们军火。你们军人很勇敢，但是用的是我们提供的装备。
Zelenskyy: “What about are we speaking? You invited me to speak –”
小泽：我们在讨论什么？是你让我的说……（被川普打断）
Trump: “If you didn’t have our military equipment, this war would have been over in two weeks.”
川普：如果不是我们的装备，你们肯定撑不了两礼拜。
Zelenskyy (sarcastic): “In three days. I heard it from Putin. In three days.”
小泽：（你说啥就是啥吧，你牛掰行了不）三天，普京说了，三天。
Trump: “Maybe less.”
川普：三天也没有。
Zelenskyy (sarcastic): “Of course, yes.”
小泽：嗯，是是是（你牛，你说啥都对）。
Trump: “It’s going to be a very hard thing to do business like this, I tell you.
川普：（会不会说话啊，这谈不下去了）我告诉你，这笔生意谈不拢了。
Vance: “Just say thank you.”
万斯：（心中升起一丝怜悯，这小泽真是不会说话啊，赶紧给两人一个台阶吧）快说感谢！
Zelenskyy: “I said a lot of times! Thank you, to American people.”
小泽：（你TM烦不烦啊，老揪着这个不放）我说了很多次了。感谢美国人民！
Vance: “Accept that there are disagreements, and let’s go litigate those disagreements rather than trying to fight it out in the American media when you’re wrong. We know that you’re wrong.”
万斯：（家丑不可外扬）我们要承认有分歧，不要在媒体面前争下去了，要解决这些分歧。但是不管怎么说，你就是错了。
Trump: “But you see, I think it’s good for the American people to see what’s going on. I think it’s very important. That’s why I kept this going so long. You have to be thankful.”
川普：（朝万斯摆摆手）也不尽然，就是要通过媒体让美国人民看看这一切。所以我才吵了这么久。（全场沉默，接着川普对小泽说）你应该表达感谢。
Zelenskyy: “I am thankful.”
小泽：我很感谢。（今天这是没完了）
( ☝ 谁说我没有西装 )
Trump (talking over Zelenskyy): “You don’t have the cards! You’re buried there. People are dying. You’re running low on soldiers. It would be a damn good thing, and then you tell us, ‘I don’t want a ceasefire. I don’t want a ceasefire, I want to go, and I want this.’ Look, if you can get a ceasefire right now, I tell you, you take it so the bullets stop flying and your men stop getting killed.”
川普（声音盖过小泽）：你手里无牌可打了，你已经深陷泥潭。你的人民正在死去。你的士兵规模已经不多。这本来可以是件好事（我们可以借此机会出面停火），但是你却说“我不想停火，我不想停火，我要继续打，我想要这个，我想要那个”，我告诉你，如果你现在能接受，我们就可以让停火变成现实。
Zelenskyy: “Of course we want to stop the war.”
小泽：我当然希望停火。（别把我描绘的像一个战争贩子）
Trump: “Are you saying you don’t want a ceasefire? I want a ceasefire. Because you’ll get a ceasefire faster than an agreement.”
川普：你说你不要停火？我可是想要停火（说不定还能给我个诺贝尔和平奖什么的）你们最好在签署协定之前停火。
Zelenskyy: “But I said to you, with guarantees. Ask our people about a ceasefire, what they think.”
小泽：我早就跟你说过了，让我停火可以，但是我需要保障（你现在让我停火，又不给我保障，这不是明摆着让我投降的吗？普京又不听你的。）你问问我的人民，他们要不要停火。
Trump: “That wasn’t with me. That was with a guy named Biden, who is not a smart person.”
川普：那些不是跟我谈的，与我无关，是跟那个白痴前任谈的。
Zelenskyy: “This is your president. It was your president.”
小泽：那也是你们选出来的总统，能代表你们的民意。
Trump: “Excuse me. That was with Obama, who gave you sheets, and I gave you Javelins. I gave you the Javelins to take out all those tanks. Obama gave you sheets. In fact, the statement is ‘Obama gave sheets, and Trump gave Javelins’. You’ve got to be more thankful, because let me tell you, you don’t have the cards. With us, you have the cards, but without us, you don’t have any cards.”
川普：不好意思，那是奥巴马时期。奥巴马只给了你床单之类的补给，而我给了你“标枪”反坦克武器。我给你的标枪帮你扫除坦克，你真的应该表达感谢。我告诉你，你手里已经无牌可打了。只有依靠我们你才能坚持下去，没有我们你一无所有。（让你往东你不能往西，让你偷狗你不能摸鸡）
Reporter: “One more question to Mr Vice President, I’m sorry –”
记者：抱一丝，想问万斯副总统一个问题……（被川普打断）
Trump: “It’s going to be a tough deal to make. Because the attitudes have to change.”
川普：的确很难下决心，因为要改变观念真的很难。
Reporter: “What if Russia breaks ceasefire? What if Russia breaks peace talks? What do you do then? I understand that it’s a heated conversation right now –”
记者：如果俄罗斯不遵守停火协定怎么办？如果俄罗斯停止和平谈判？你们会怎么应对？我觉得这是今天问题的焦点。
Trump: “What are you saying?”
川普：你说什么？
Vance: “She is asking what if Russia breaks the ceasefire.”
万斯：她问如果俄罗斯不遵守停火协定，我们该怎么办。
Trump: “What, if anything? What if a bomb drops on your head right now? Okay, what if they broke it? I don’t know! They broke it with Biden, because Biden – they didn’t respect him. They didn’t respect Obama. They respect me! Let me tell you, Putin went through a hell of a lot with me. He went through a phony witch hunt (referring to the Russiagate scandal), where they used him and Russia. ‘Russia, Russia, Russia!’ You ever heared of that deal? That was a phony Hunter Biden, Joe Biden scam! Hillary Clinton, shifty Adam Schiff. It was a Democrat scam! And he had to go through that, and he did go through it. We didn’t end up in a war. And he went through it. He was accused of all that stuff, he had nothing to do with it. It came out of Hunter Biden’s bathroom, it came out of Hunter Biden’s bedroom. It was disgusting! And then they said ‘Oh, the laptop from hell was made by Russia’, the 51 agents. The whole thing was a scam and he had to put up with that. He was being accused of all that stuff. All I can say is this: He might have broken deals with Obama and Bush, and he might have broken them with Biden. He did, maybe. Maybe he did. I don’t know what happened. But he didn’t break them with me. He wants to make a deal. I don’t know if you can make a deal. The problem is, I’ve empowered you (turning toward Zelenskyy) to be a tough guy, and I don’t think you’d be a tough guy without the United States. And your people are very brave. But you’re either going to make a deal or we’re out. And if we’re out, you’ll fight it out. I don’t think it’s going to be pretty, but you’ll fight it out. But you don’t have the cards. But once we sign that deal, you’re in a much better position. But you’re not acting at all thankful. And that’s not a nice thing. I’ll be honest, that’s not a nice thing. All right, I think we’ve seen enough. What do you think? This is going to be great television, I will say that. We will see what we can do about putting it together. Thank you.”
川普：怎么办？如果现在有颗炸弹落在你头上，怎么办？好，万一他们不遵守协定……我不知道。俄国人也放了拜登的鸽子，他们根本不甩他，也不甩奥巴马，但是他们尊重我！我告诉你，普京跟我有许多共同经历，他经历了一场虚构政治迫害（指通俄门），利用了他和俄罗斯。你听说过这场政治骗局吗？拜登父子、希拉里·克林顿、狡猾的亚当·西弗。整个就是一场民主党的骗局。普京承受了这一切，也最终走了出来。美俄没有陷入战争，普京走了出来。他被指控的罪状都与他无关。这些罪状都是在拜登父子厕所卧室里捏造出来的，真是恶心至极。而且他们还说那台笔记本是俄国人的，还有51名特工，整起事件都是个骗局，普京只能忍受。我只能说，普京可能的确撕毁了与奥巴马或者布什的协议，也可能撕毁了和拜登签的协议。可能吧，也许吧，我不清楚。但是普京没有跟我过不去，他想要跟我谈妥，但我怀疑你能不能跟他谈妥。问题是，我已赐予你力量，如果没有美利坚的力量，你不可能像现在这么强大。你们的人民也勇敢。摆在你面前有两条路，你要么签停火协议，要么我们就撒手不管了。而且如果我们离场，你们可就孤注一掷了。这可不是个好结果，你们会拼光全部。但是你已经无牌可打了。反过来说，如果你签了停火协议，形势对你就是一片大好。但是你也一点都不向我表达感激之情，这可不是什么好事情。说实话，真不是什么好事情。好吧，我们已经谈够了，你觉得呢？今天的节目可真够精彩，我是这么认为的。看看怎么能好好整理一下。谢谢。
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